


If Only...

by Ashtence



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Bromance, Gen, Minor appearance from the vocal unit members, Other, Platonic Relationships, Wonwoo is his observant self
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 17:42:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12281340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashtence/pseuds/Ashtence
Summary: Soonyoung wasn't always as strong as he appeared to be, though he liked to think that his little act was enough to fool most of his members. But Jeonghan wasn't like "most" people and Soonyoung often found himself breaking down in front of the elder. He was glad that Jeonghan was always there when he needed him. It was such a pity that Jeonghan belonged to EVERYONE in the group and not just Soonyoung alone. Soonyoung didn't especially like sharing, but it wasn't like he had a say in it did he?





	If Only...

**Author's Note:**

> My little interpretation of Soonhan friendship from Soonyoung's point of view. I've always seen Soonyoung's love as a "one-sided" platonic soulmate type of love, but I'm not that well versed in how "Soulmates" actually work, so if anyone is kind enough, please let me know in the comments if this kind of love exists among soulmates!:) I really tried to explain what I interpreted his "love" as so I hope its understandable X3

“Soonyoung ah...is everything okay?”

Soonyoung looked into the worried eyes in front of him, trying to think of a way to hide all his struggles from the elder, only to be pulled out of his thoughts by two warm and gentle hands on his cheeks, gently bringing him to focus wholly on Jeonghan. He was faced with a sad smile as he felt a thumb rub his right cheek.

“Don’t lie to me Soonyoung-ah…Please?”

Jeonghan’s eyes closed sadly as he spoke, and Soonyoung had to swallow hard as he felt guilt and fear well up inside him. What if Jeonghan judges him for his thoughts? What if he thinks that Soonyoung is weak? 

That’d be horrible, in Soonyoung’s opinion. He only wants to be strong, especially in front of the one person whose mental strength was much stronger than what people thought. He wanted to be strong, to prove that he was more than just a choreographer. He was the performance leader. He was a leader. How could he appear weak to his brother who had so much faith in him? 

Soonyoung shook his head in denial, hoping that Jeonghan would get the hint. And Jeonghan did. But that didn’t mean that Jeonghan was going to leave it be. Jeonghan would never. And Soonyoung knew that. That was one of the other many things he loved about Jeonghan. He understood, but more importantly he knew what would help more. 

And so Jeonghan probed him again, still giving the same sad smile and Soonyoung knew he lost. He gently took Jeonghan’s hands in his own before bringing him to a corner of the practice room to sit on the floor. He took his time, knowing well that Jeonghan would wait. When he was ready, Soonyoung spoke. Of his worries, of how he felt the choreography was not good enough, that he felt oh so angry at the members for messing up, and that he felt bad for being angry. 

Soonyoung hid his face in his hands as he finished, almost wishing that the ground would swallow him up whole. Instead though, he felt a hand gently ruffle his hair. As he looked up between his fingers, he saw Jeonghan warmly smiling at him.

“Thank you Soonyoung…For telling me. Why did you think this was something you needed to hide? You know, you can share with me anything. Please, don’t hide these kind of things…Don’t you feel so much better after letting it out?”

Soonyoung could feel tears welling up at the corner of his eyes as he threw himself into the arms of his beloved elder brother. Jeonghan laughed as he wrapped his arms around the younger boy, petting his head gently as Soonyoung rubbed his face into the elder’s shirt.

“Honestly, you are such a child. So cute.”

How many times had he been called that? Some may consider being called a child an insult. But not Soonyoung. Especially when the person saying it said it with so much love, affection and genuine sincerity. Soonyoung had said it before, and he still firmly believed in what he said,

“Everything will be okay, since Jeonghan is here.”

And really, at that moment, everything felt like it was going to be okay. And he believed, it was because Jeonghan was there for him, just as he always was.

==========================================================================================

“You’re obsessed.”

Wonwoo’s words snapped Soonyoung out of his thoughts and forced him to turn to face Wonwoo with a frown on his face. Wonwoo merely looked to the front to see the vocal unit all gathered round each other discussing their unit song.

“You’ve been staring at Jeonghan for the past 15 minutes without even blinking.”

Soonyoung was all ready to protest to Wonwoo’s claims till he realised that Wonwoo had meant since he –Wonwoo, had arrived. Truth be told, Soonyoung had been staring for well over 20 minutes.

This wasn’t the first time that Wonwoo had pointed out his blatant staring, and really, Soonyoung would much rather deny his tendencies as obsessiveness. If anything, he would say he was possessive and it was not like Soonyoung could help it though. Was it his fault that Jeonghan was just the only person in SEVENTEEN who could take on his exuberant amount of love? And no, it wasn’t like he was in love with him. No, it was far more than that. It was something even greater, something Soonyoung couldn’t even begin to explain.

Sure, Seokmin was also someone who also received him well, but there were times when even Soonyoung knew that Seokmin was not in the right state of mind to be smothered by him. Besides, Seokmin and his relationship had always been similar to that of being bros. He didn’t go to Seokmin for affection but rather to have fun and humour. At one point, he tried to go to Chan, who on multiple occasions had claimed the male as his favourite older brother. That didn’t work out the way he expected though, with Chan pushing him away most of the time. 

“It must be puberty.”

That was the conclusion Soonyoung came to. Or at least he decided on and hoped it was.

With Jeonghan however, he never needed to worry about that. Since he joined SEVENTEEN as a trainee, Soonyoung never had any issues being close to Jeonghan. It was, however, after they debuted, and the members slowly started growing up, that Soonyoung found himself often going to Jeonghan for anything in relation to affection or support. 

With Jeonghan, there was never a ‘wrong’ time and there was never a time he said no to Soonyoung’s affection. He would openly welcome it, be it hugs, touches or anything. With Jeonghan, he could pull him aside to talk about choreography and Jeonghan would intently listen to every word he said, giving some small inputs here and there, but never over riding his authority. With Jeonghan, he could cuddle as much as he wanted and be lovingly cuddled back. He could act like a kid and just be playful and Jeonghan wouldn’t judge him. He could curl up and break down in front of him, and Jeonghan would be there to reassure him that everything would be okay, and he wouldn’t ever talk about it again. Jeonghan would take his hand quietly and pull him aside, hiding him away from the members. Away from from what Soonyoung would consider humiliation.

How could anyone deny or refuse such affection, care and love? This was why when asked during that one fan sign on what Jeonghan meant to him, he didn’t even have to think to write that Jeonghan was his love. Jeonghan was love, to him at least. There was no reason, and there was no need for a reason. What other reason could there be? And since when did love need a reason in the first place? That was what Jeonghan made him realise, and for some reason, this thought made Soonyoung’s heart fill with joy.

As he stared hard at Seokmin and Seungkwan gathered around Jeonghan, Soonyoug could do little but acknowledge that he was indeed possessive. And to be honest, Soonyoung often wished that he wasn’t so taken by Jeonghan’s character and love, especially since he knew that he himself wasn’t particularly special in Jeonghan’s eyes. He knew that, with how easily Jeonghan had left his grasp the moment the vocal unit had called him over. Soonyoung had been so close to reaching out to Jeonghan, asking him not leave him. But what could he do? Jeonghan didn’t only belong to him, let alone anyone in the group. 

For now, all he could do was embrace the love he received, and hope that whatever he gave back to Jeonghan would be enough, and if not, at least he hoped to one day be that someone that Jeonghan could lean on, just as Jeonghan had always been for him.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologise for any grammatical or spelling errors in the story >< Hope you all enjoyed reading it though! Have a wonderful and blessed day ahead!


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